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Here are some conversations that actually happened between help desk people and their customers.

Customer: 'You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly.'

Tech Support: 'What does it say?'

Customer: 'Something about an error and non-system disk.'

Tech Support: 'Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?'

Customer: 'No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside.'

Tech Support: 'Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours.'

Customer: 'Is that Eastern time?'

Tech Support: 'Ok, now click your left mouse button.'

Customer: (silence) 'But I only have one mouse.'

Customer: 'Excuse me can I use this disk? It has a hole in it.

Tech Support: 'Do you have 3 1/2 inch diskettes?'

Customer: 'No, I only have 3 of them.'

Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'

Customer: 'Ok.'

Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'

Customer: 'No.'

Tech Support: 'Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'

Customer: 'No.'

Tech Support: 'Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'

Customer: 'Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'

Customer: 'Now what do I do?'

Tech Support: 'What is the prompt on the screen?'

Customer: 'It's asking for 'Enter Your Last Name.''

Tech Support: 'Ok, so type in your last name.'

Customer: 'How do you spell that?'

Customer: 'I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.'

Tech Support: 'Did you install the update?'

Customer: 'No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?'

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